Have you ever had a moment when you suddenly became aware that life will not last forever?
It might happen on a birthday, after hearing that someone is unwell, while looking at an old photograph, or simply when you notice how quickly another year has passed.
Sometimes the thought is frightening, and we quickly distract ourselves. But it can also make the world feel more vivid. We may want to hold someone closer, have a conversation we have been avoiding, or ask ourselves: Am I living the life I really want to live?
Research by our clinic co-founder, Dr Egle Meiste, together with Regina Pauli and Professor Mick Cooper, explored how people experience their own mortality. It found that our responses are much more varied than simply “accepting” death or being afraid of it. We may avoid the subject, feel frightened, reach towards the people we love, connect with something larger than ourselves, or become clearer about who we are and what matters to us.
One of the most interesting findings was that wellbeing was connected not with ignoring mortality, but with being able to hold some awareness of it alongside a sense of personal meaning.
Therapy can give us a place to approach these experiences gently and together. Not to force acceptance or take away the fear, but to become curious about what the fear might be touching:
Who and what matters deeply to me?
What feels unfinished or unlived?
Where might I want to be more honest, present or connected?
Thinking about mortality can feel difficult. But sometimes, when it is held within a safe relationship, it can also bring us closer to ourselves, to other people and to the life we are living now.
Read the published research:
https://doi.org/10.1177/00221678231173164